i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
