But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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