shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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