As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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