Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
