dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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