508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize