The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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