how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
