I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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