i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
When did angry sex become our thing?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
