Whod you bang
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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