i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
