I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
