Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
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We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
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I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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