its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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