Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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