I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
