I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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