I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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