i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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