They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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