His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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