sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
