So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
