I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
only you would photoshop your dick
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
