Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
