Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
