**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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