No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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