Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
soo... how was my night?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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