You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
