You work out of a Hotel?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize