Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
