Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize