New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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