We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize