It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
