That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize