There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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