it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
