your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
