Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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