All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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