Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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