Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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