once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
