how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
