your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
