but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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