He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
