Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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