I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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