My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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