I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
