I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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