I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
