he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
This house was built for laser tag.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
